The Road You Find Yourself

It's like Dad never left!

...

But he did.

That's why you work at starbucks,

''you rude piece of garbage, why I oughtta-''

And work the corner at night,

"it's better than nothing, plus I make so much doing it"

Shrug.

"it's a living."

"please kill me"

Confrontation

After another round of deep contemplation and speaking with my townsfolk, I felt invigorated. With this burst of passion and confidence, I could do only what needed to be done- and that was to deal once and for all with my sexual predator.

"Look," I stated firmly, grinding my ankle into the ground below me. "You are a great deal older than me. The things you say make me extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately, you are the only means of public transportation in this town, or else I would have had Booker lock you up long ago. I have proof out the wazoo of your shenanigans, several witness reports of your harassment, and statements of villagers who have moved away urging city hall to deal with this potentially dangerous manner before a serious incident occurs."

I took a moment to catch my breath. "You are no longer welcome to speak to me so inappropriately. You may not look at me, touch me, or think about me, or any of the other young folks in ElDorito!"

Glaring straight down into his beady eyes, I growled, "IS THAT CLEAR?"

He paused, shaken, and replied,

Yet another sexual predator walks.

Tell someone.

Encounters

WHO'S CHILD IS THIS

I DID NOT claw my way up to mayor to babysit.

Katie startled me at first, approaching me as a gas station beggar would a woman with too much perfume. Her vacant eyes locked onto me, honing in on what could be her last true hope of escape.

I scurried away, not about to be taken afool by some pseudo-innocent schoolgirl.

I left her alone in the snow that day.

beetlejuice

beetlejuice

Beetlejuice?

Rocco needs a xanax.

Patty, collecting intel.

Who, me?

WHY MASK YOUR LONELINESS WITH ANGER

you fucking woman

Time once again to take a time out to re-evaluate my priorities here in ElDorito.

How could I take these villagers, damaged and alone inside, just like us people, and teach them how to make the most out of their insignificant existences?

So many beary difficult questions.

Later...

BEARY DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

And finally, the solution:

Thanks, positive squirrel.

I think.

Beary Bonus! My Teddie QR Code

Our New Leaf

the edge

I wish for my mommy

the decision

This is GTA five and i'm gonna rob you!

No I'm not.

Just the customary 1AM check in

the realization

... that our residents may fare happier in los santos.

oh my god.

until the next

Adjusting

Who do you think you are, wearing that gingerbread house?

By this point, it has been a good little while. Making this place feel like home has been the expected challenge of any new living situation. People come and go. Passerbys are neighborly, but are generally only concerned with gossip or events that directly affect their well being. The personalities abound, meshing and clashing on the streets, some going as far as to insist their superiority to others outright. They pull no punches here in ElDorito - but isn't that what I was searching for in the first place?

Aren't we all just searching for the true, the honest, the genuine?

ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME

I CAN'T TAKE THE REJECTION

 Must find friends... must find acceptance...

Aaaahhhh. That's it.

Fucking photobombed.

just lousy with loyalty

they all love me here...

Not about to confront my loneliness, I picked and ate some mushrooms from the tree stump patch and bee lined it for the docks.

If anything would heighten my spirits, it would be less than questionable attention from an older man.

Oh comforting consistency. 

Remember that bad times,
are just times that are bad.





until the next

The next adventure

Blorp, the dreary winter

Contemplating my existence in this town over the endless shimmering winter landscape, I decided to visit my new friends to get a new, fresh outlook on things.

Since Beardo moved in right goddamn next to me, I barged into his house without a second thought to common courtesy.

Well remind me not to fuck you, like Gwen, Vesta, and Merengue.

I thought Merengue was classier than that.

We all make mistakes.

trying to get into my pants via genuine appreciation of interior design...

Dick.

With ElDorito as disappointing as humanity, I catch a ride to my premium escape island vistaroo.

The taxi boating bus grapist already passive aggressively loathing my existence, masking his lifelong escalating rage due to constant rejection from the beautiful people, resulting in serial rapery on his off-time when he isn't busy supporting his wife and daughter.

(Which he does, #1 priority! What a guy.)

I'll be sure to visit with them and sell choking hazards to your children whilst they cater to my stay.

Progressive romance on the moonlit bridge.

This reminds me that I should change my outfit.

This lead me to further introspection. Perhaps my general creephole demeanor was affecting my new neighbor's attitudes towards the white-skinned human that had stepped off the bus and declared herself ruler of the town.

Perhaps they weren't seeing the real Blorp because I wasn't showing them the real Blorp.

It was time to change my ways, and truly begin anew.

... by eavesdropping

Cheating on Patty... Merengue.

Cheaters get what they deserve.

... dressing up like a bear

Wheeeeee!

... and shouting in their faces

Please take me with you.

Please let me go.

What am I going to do?

until the next