Shmanimal Blossing

The Road You Find Yourself

It's like Dad never left!

...

But he did.

That's why you work at starbucks,

''you rude piece of garbage, why I oughtta-''

And work the corner at night,

"it's better than nothing, plus I make so much doing it"

Shrug.

"it's a living."

"please kill me"

After another round of deep contemplation and speaking with my townsfolk, I felt invigorated. With this burst of passion and confidence, I could do only what needed to be done- and that was to deal once and for all with my sexual predator.

"Look," I stated firmly, grinding my ankle into the ground below me. "You are a great deal older than me. The things you say make me extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately, you are the only means of public transportation in this town, or else I would have had Booker lock you up long ago. I have proof out the wazoo of your shenanigans, several witness reports of your harassment, and statements of villagers who have moved away urging city hall to deal with this potentially dangerous manner before a serious incident occurs."

I took a moment to catch my breath. "You are no longer welcome to speak to me so inappropriately. You may not look at me, touch me, or think about me, or any of the other young folks in ElDorito!"

Glaring straight down into his beady eyes, I growled, "IS THAT CLEAR?"

He paused, shaken, and replied,

Yet another sexual predator walks.

Tell someone.

Encounters

WHO'S CHILD IS THIS

I DID NOT claw my way up to mayor to babysit.

Katie startled me at first, approaching me as a gas station beggar would a woman with too much perfume. Her vacant eyes locked onto me, honing in on what could be her last true hope of escape.

I scurried away, not about to be taken afool by some pseudo-innocent schoolgirl.

I left her alone in the snow that day.

beetlejuice

beetlejuice

Beetlejuice?

Rocco needs a xanax.

Patty, collecting intel.

Who, me?

WHY MASK YOUR LONELINESS WITH ANGER

you fucking woman

Time once again to take a time out to re-evaluate my priorities here in ElDorito.

How could I take these villagers, damaged and alone inside, just like us people, and teach them how to make the most out of their insignificant existences?